Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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