So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh god it's open bar.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
