I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i now understand why vodka
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
