Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
