SEEEEXXX PLEASE
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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