I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize