I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
