we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
