Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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