im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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