Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
