I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
