I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
