Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
