i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
