She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
