He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
