he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Two words: nipple clamps
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