He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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