Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
