he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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