Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
worst night to have a conscience
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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