I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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