Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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