its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
