Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
