You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
