I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
