It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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