Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
