do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
