So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize