At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
