NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
