Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
