Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
