Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
