Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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