***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish you could order shots online.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
