i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
