The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
