We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
MIDGETS
????
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
