Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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