i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
