We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
