Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
