I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
