it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
