it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
