Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
