I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
