you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
