the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need a burrito and a hug.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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