you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
