Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there was a trapeze. enough said
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
