My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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