Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
