I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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