I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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