Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
